Notable Cast: Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Matthew Lillard, Leelee Soieski, Claire Forlani, Kristanna Loken
Beyond having the longest title of all time (probably not, but let me exaggerate dammit), "In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" might also have been the longest film I have ever seen. Not because it truly was all that long, the version I watched clocked in around 2 hours, but it certainly felt that way. It felt excruciatingly long. Like stab your eyes out long. This is because, quite frankly, the movie was not good. I knew this going into the film, much of Uwe Boll's early films are just as poorly concocted, but I was hoping with the scene eating cast that was in it and the general ridiculousness of having a film based on the medieval happenings of relatively popular video game franchise that it might lead to some entertainment. Alas, I was wrong and "In The Name Of The King" falls desperately flat.
Farmer (Statham...and I kid you not his name is Farmer) lives a simple life with his beautiful wife (Forlani) and his son Zeph (Ford). When asked by his neighbor Norrick (Perlman) about joining the king's forces, he says no and continues to farm. When an evil sorcerer (Liotta) decides to overthrow the king (Reynolds), he picks the wrong village to start his rampage on. Now Farmer has a bone to pick and his mysterious past will catch up to make him powerful enough to lead an onslaught against an unstoppable force.
|Can Statham do an emotion other than 'grumpy'?|
|Random tree dweller...why the hell not?|
Written By Matt Reifschneider
If you so feel the need to, there are links below to purchase "In The Name Of The King" for your home collection.