Sunday, April 10, 2011

Hills Have Eyes Part II, The (1985) - 1/5

At first glance all looks great going into this sequel. Wes Craven, director of the original 1977 disturbing classic, returns as both writer and director not to mention he is hot off the his smash hit "A Nightmare on Elm Street." This sequel is going to be mega bad ass... right? Right? Oh God Damn it.... "The Hills Have Eyes Part II" just further proves that the creators of the original are just as bad at making ultra shitty sequels as the next guy.

Taking place seven years after the original, we open with the one of the survivors talking to a psychologist about the horror he went through. Can anyone cue in the "flashback" theme? Get used to it as this film is loaded with 'em. It seems he has invented a new type of racing fuel but is too shaken up to ride with his motocross team across the desert to premier his new formula. His girlfriend, the surviving cannibal daughter from the original film that turned on her family, decides to travel with the motocross team instead. They end up running late to their race and... du du du.... decide to take a desolate dirt road short cut across the desert. From there it's all predicable as you connect the dots as their bus breakdowns and they run into a few surviving members of the notorious cannibal family.

The whole time while watching this film you can tell Wes Craven's heart wasn't into the project as the writing and directing is just plain lazy and shoddy. He has the plot take insane turns in order to get our motocross team stranded in the desert. In order to have the team to be running late Craven haphazardly writes in that they all forgot about daylight savings time.... I shit you not. Then of course their bus convenient springs a fuel leak. Come on Craven... you can do way better than this!

The characters are all unlikeable and make incredibly insane decisions. The hole first half of the film they are whining about having to get to the race on time as it's like a "matter of life and death." When their bus springs a leak they no longer seem concerned getting to the race on time and take their sweet ass time searching a decapitated cabin for fuel. After one of their group members gets attacked by a creapo and knowing damn well this is the same area that was the stomping grounds to cannibal families, our two male "heroes" head out to capture the goon (who just happens to know how to ride a motorcycle... how the fuck did he learn that?) and even seem to be enjoying themselves and even taunt the bastards after they were almost killed. Hell Craven seems to willing to throw anything into the plot to make things a little more "interesting" including a blind chick to make the climax a little more exciting. All this is bad but Craven hits the ultimate low when he gives the dog (who also survived the original) a god damn flashback sequence. Yes, you read that right.

I know what you're thinking... at least Michael Berryman is back playing Pluto, one of the surviving members of the cannibal family that obviously died in the original but was only brought back in order to adorn the poster artwork again. Even his character sucks... trust me.

This is one of the most embarrassing films Wes Craven has on his resume and it's no surprise he never talks about it. How the hell could the guy that was hot off the heels of "A Nightmare on Elm Street" direct this horrible drek? My guess is that it was solely for the money as he put no effort into the writing or directing and loads the film up with awful dialogue, insane character decisions and stock footage of the original film for padding. The most memorable element this unmemorable sequel has to offer is the god damn dog flashback, and that is only for the unintentional laugh factor. How sad of a statement is that?

Written By Eric Reifschneider

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